my first post

I used to think i started taking photographs because i couldn't draw.

Now i find myself drawing because i can't take photographs.

And here i am writing perhaps because i secretly know i can neither draw nor photograph. Not to my satisfaction anyhow.

Perhaps eventually i shall stop writing too and just try and live. 

Mind you, i never could get the hang of life...

The other day i went to a drop-in meditation  group. I didn't know many people there. 

Between meditations we went round the room just saying our names and a short sentence or two if we wished. The woman next to me said: 'I'm R-----, I'm with Death.'

Just like that! 

'I'm with Death.'

It made me feel incredible. I almost expected to see him sitting behind her, scythe at the ready.

It seemed a wonderful thing to say. So refreshing to hear someone talking about something so real, so important, so HUGE. I felt reassured to know some people take the time to think about these things. These real, important things that most of us avoid until they are forced on us. 

Someone once said you spend your whole life trying to learn how to live and then you realise you should've been trying to learn how to die.

So, that's me at the moment. Trying to photograph, draw, paint, write, live, love and die well. 

It is a rich and painful thing i am living.  And i embrace it.

May you be well. May you be happy.