The main gist of the song is how supremely cool Picasso was, encapsulated in the lines:
'Well the girls would turn the color /Of the avocado when he would drive down the street/in his El Dorado/He could walk down the street/And girls could not resist his stare/Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole'
Wonderful stuff!
I've been thinking about the artist and the ego. Having been almost crippled by lack of confidence for years it's great to be finally developing a bit of belief in myself and producing and showing work. Yet i'm troubled by it too. I don't want to end up full of myself, yet i need some self-confidence to produce work in the first place. Even writing this blog is sort of alarming - the sheer arrogance of thinking anyone will want to read it, the guilty enjoyment of all the positive feedback i've had so far (am i fooling all these people? why do i love praise so much? shouldn't i be able to evaluate my own work without needing confirmation from others? etc etc). It's all quite strange.
Recently i showed some photographs and looking at them up on the wall of a local cafe i was struck by the fact that ANYONE could have taken them. Yes, absolutely anyone. But that didn't matter, because no-one else did, i did. And it felt good. I looked at them and i thought perhaps some photographs just want to be taken and they don't care who takes them. What seemed more important to me at that point was the images, the work, not so much me.
Of course i am not ungrateful that i took them. And i am conscious that i need to be grateful also for the two years i spent studying at college, the expensive, professional kit i have, the brain i have that thought of the idea and my ability to talk to and connect with people which i needed hugely in this particular project (taking portraits of complete strangers requires a certain bravery!) In other words i do appreciate that i brought myself and all that entails to this project and in that sense no-one else could have done it. Equally true however is my previous statement that anyone could have done it, and i don't feel that detracts from the work at all.
So for me, at the moment, it's about a balancing act to do with appreciating the gifts i've been lucky enough to receive, having the confidence to keep putting my work out there, and never forgetting that anyone could do it - i'm just bloody lucky when it's me!
As for Pablo... Well, he was a genius obviously and i'm not convinced anyone else could have done what he did. He's always been one of my heroes. However, having read a bit about the man recently, although i'm sure no-one ever did call him an asshole, sorry Pablo, big fan an' all that, but maybe they should've done!
4 comments:
There is nothing wrong with taking enjoyment from the part you play in creating something. As the bible says, God created the world and everything in it and was pleased. I think he meant for us to be happier than we mostly are. Enjoy your art and your art will show it. Get rid of that old puritan all work and no play attitude. It hurts everyone most especially you. God gave you gifts. Open them and enjoy. Just remember to say thankyou!
You know, when I was growing up, my parents measured everything by how much money I could make doing it -- which cut out anything remotely creative. Keeping the nose to the grindstone was my mom's mantra.
So this post really resonated with me. Took me a long time to accept the fact that I am creative. Even longer to have the courage to speak up in a community of artists, to feel that I had a right to be there.
Thanks for stopping by and thanks as well for putting all of this into words.
You touched an inner nerve with your comment. I live my life daily with constant bewilderment and waiting for that person to stand up and say 'I know your game! you don't fool me!' You are right about the ego, my worst times are when I get overly confident and things go wrong. I believe that success is the ability to work through those inner voices, your own self doubt and keep on going. Success for me isn't in the future and aspirational. It's when you look back at what you have done. Keep with it, move forward, stray from the path now and again. Have trust in those who support you, acknowledge those who don't but follow your heart - you do some big stuff!
I was just listening to that the other day.
Relishing your vision if fine. Recognizing that that is what your doing is where you show your glorious smarts!
Love you L***
Post a Comment